Sometimes The World Seems Out of Focus

"There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go". ~ Author Unknown

This is a post my head knew I would have to write someday, but my heart hoped that day would never come.
It is hard to say the words, or type the words, or make sense of the words or even really believe the words in that most real sense of believing.
It wasn't supposed to be this way... this cannot be happening.... but, I see the sadness in my Dad's eyes and it is real.
Our mother, Nyssa's grandmother and Dad's beloved wife of 60 years, passed away on Monday, July 18th, 2011.

"Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break." ~ William Shakespeare

There was a fall, a small fracture in the hip and a three day stay in the hospital for pain control with plans to move to a rehab facility. But the delicate balance keeping her myriad of health problems in check was overwhelmed and one by one, small problems became bigger problems and interventions simply did not work. Three days turned into four and four to seven. To say the end was "sudden" is a cliche... death is always sudden even when expected. Her final struggle was short and now our struggle to live without her has begun.

"And the ransomed of the Lord shall return, and come to Zion with songs and everlasting joy upon their heads: they shall obtain joy and gladness, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away." ~ Isaiah 35:10

Mom was a woman of faith and that brings great peace, with the promise that we will see and be with her again. Right now, the world seems out of focus, but comfort comes in remembering.... funny stories of events past... first dates and blossoming love.... the kind words of those whose lives she touched...and knowing that her pain is gone, she has been restored to full health and rejoices with the hosts of heaven.

We sang this hymn to close her funeral service of worship and it captures the essence of what I believe.

What a Day That Will Be

There is coming a day,
When no heart aches shall come,
No more clouds in the sky,
No more tears to dim the eye,
All is peace forever more,
On that happy golden shore,
What a day, glorious day that will be.

There'll be no sorrow there,
No more burdens to bear,
No more sickness, no pain,
No more parting over there;
And forever I will be,
With the One who died for me,
What a day, glorious day that will be.

What a day that will be,
When my Jesus I shall see,
And I look upon His face,
The One who saved me by His grace;
When He takes me by the hand,
And leads me through the Promised Land,
What a day, glorious day that will be,

~ Jim Hill, Words and Music

(end of post)

June 2, 1951 ~ June 2, 2011

It started with a simple ring, many years ago,
And now you have a treasure chest that’s begun to overflow.
For 25 years of married bliss, much silver did you store,
And then you reached your 40th, with ruby stones galore!
You travelled through life to 50 years of happy wedded bliss
Your treasure grew with golden gifts, to toast your happiness
And now you’ve reached that special day, that’s only seen by few
60 years together, now its diamonds for both of you.
But the treasure that you value most isn’t jewels, silver or gold
But the love you have for each other, that has never grown old!
~ Unknown

June 2, 1951... the beginning.

"The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly." ~ Peter De Vries

Sixty years of marriage together... the Diamond Anniversary! Today my parents (Stephen's parents too, although I have been known to question this in the past.) have been married for sixty years. Ten years ago, we threw them a huge party and 225 of their friends attended to show their love and appreciation for their work and their lives through the years. This milestone is celebrated more quietly.

June 2, 2011... 60 years and going strong.

"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years." ~ Simone Signoret

I was going to put their picture in the paper but six weeks ago, Mom fell on her face... literally. She was bruised from her hairline down her whole left face, chin and neck. Stitches on her chin and lip and the dense hematoma were bad enough, but she also broke her right jaw. Fortunately, no wiring was involved and the bruising is much, much, much better. Still, their picture in the paper might suggest something different than a long-time loving marriage. So I took these to have for their memories. Others remembered as well. The mailman was busy the past few days and bombarded us with cards, especially today. Phone calls have come from around the country and a fruit basket from the General Church of the Nazarene. (Dad was a pastor for many, many years.)

Diamond Anniversary... OK, where's the diamond?

"One of the good things that come of a true marriage is, that there is one face on which changes come without your seeing them; or rather there is one face which you can still see the same, through all the shadows which years have gathered upon it." ~ George MacDonald

Usually they go out alone together for their anniversary dinner, but this year Dad didn't feel up to driving and I went along to chauffeur. Mom ate all the seafood she isn't supposed to as well as bread, potatoes and she-crab soup; but it is such a special and rare anniversary that few people get to celebrate these days. Why not.

Still up for a kiss...after all these years.

"Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, The last of life, for which the first was made: Our times are in his hands Who sayeth 'a whole I planned, Youth shows but half; Trust God; see all nor be afraid." ~ Robert Browning

These two show that while the hearing goes and often time neither knows who is saying what to whom, love goes on and just being two together forever is more than enough.... a well-aged marriage.

(end of post)
Carmi's Theme ~ "well aged", as in a well-aged marriage

Lilies for Love on Mother's Day

“The mother loves her child most divinely, not when she surrounds him with comfort and anticipates her wants, but when she resolutely holds her to the highest standards and is content with nothing less than her best.” ~ Hamilton Wright Mabie (American writer, 1845-1916)

“A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.” ~ Washington Irving (American Writer. 1783-1859)

“Who ran to help me when I fell,
And would some pretty story tell,
Or kiss the place to make it well?
My mother” ~ Ann Taylor (English Author, 1782-1866)

“The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.” ~ Honore de Balzac quotes (French Novelist. 1799-1850)

"The sweetest sounds to mortals given
Are heard in Mother, Home, and Heaven."
~ William Goldsmith Brown

"A mother's treasure is her daughter." ~ Catherine Pulsifer

Could you see, could you guess... lovely lilies from my daughter Nyssa for Mother's Day. Thank you sweet pea... they are lovely.... not as lovely as seeing your face and hearing you call me "Madre"... but beautiful to brighten the day none the less. Thank you!

OH! Yes... I hope ALL the mothers out there had a lovely day... and all you daughters out there.... CALL YOUR MOTHER!!!!

The Males Of The Species

"They say women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men." ~ Clare Booth Luce

Clockwise from top left: bluebird, cardinal, goldfinch, red-bellied woodpecker... all male.

Male birds are almost always the more brilliantly colored of the two sexes. They preen and puff and show off their feathers to attract the female. If they were human, they would spend almost their whole life in front of a mirror. The male bird is supposed to help build the nest, but this particular bluebird has been falling down on the job the last two years. I've seen him take three or four pine needles into the birdhouse and leave her to do the rest.

Clockwise from top: Mr. Rhett (Babe Magnet), Sir Nicky, and Mr. Max (now departed)... again, all male.

Mr. Max had the male attitude.. he wanted to get between us and any stranger and he had a particular distrust of bicyclists and runners. He also had a certain male mechanical prowess... he could distinguish between the motors of different lawn mowers and he knew the sound of the man's mower who did Mom and Dad's yard. If we heard a mower and heard him bark.. our yard was being done. But the neighbor's mower... no. Even when the lawn guy, who lived next door, did his own yard... Max was quiet. To me the mowers all sounded the same... distinguishing a difference must be a guy thing. The cats... well, they are cats and not really out to prove themselves to anyone. However, these two males have the eyes to charm the most suspicious female... as long as the female is human. Apparently, female cats are not as susceptible to the "come hither" looks of these male casanovas as human females are. One look from these blue eyes and women melt. They develop an overwhelming desire to feed or brush or give ear scratches and head rubs to these two. How they can look so manly and pitiful at the same time is... well, another guy thing.

Clockwise from top left: Three cousins...David, Rick and Stephen.
Also known affectionately as "The Floating Heads"

Last, but definitely not least, we have three males from a family... my family. My brother, Stephen, who is currently in Japan.. and our cousins, Rick and Dave, who are renovators and woodworkers extraordinaire. David designed and drew the plans for Stephen's sunroom and they build the furniture for inside. They also did the woodworking trim inside, the trellis outside and the deck skirt. They are amazing craftsmen.

(end of post)
Saturday Photo Hunt ~ "Male"

Four Brothers And Their Wives

Four brothers and their four wives.... a total of 220 years of marriage between them.

"What greater thing is there for human souls than to feel that they are joined for life - to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories." ~ George Eliot

Four brothers grew up in the country of Southern Illinois... on a farm.
From right to left in the picture, eldest to youngest: Lewis, Loren (my dad), Jerry and John.
They married.. but not in the order of their birth.
Loren married Lorane in June, 1951.
Jerry married Orpha in June, 1956.
John married Laura Beth in October, 1956.
Lewis married Jean in May, 1957.
Between them they have 12 children and around 12 grandchildren..although I tend to lose count.
So far no great-grandchildren.
Each couple has been married for over 50 years... and as of next June, my parents will have been married for 60 years.
Between the four brothers and their wives they have 220 years of marriage under their belts!

These four brothers have a baby sister.... Mary Kathryn.
She is 14 years younger than her oldest brother and has a few years to go yet before her 50th wedding anniversary.
But she's working on it. Oh... and she adds two more children and one grandchild to the mix.

Carmi's theme this week is "family" and these handsome gentlemen and lovely ladies are part of mine.

(end of post)
Carmi's Theme ~ "family"

The Land Of The Rising Sun

Strolling down the boulevard.... in Japan. (Click to enlarge)

"I have always believed that opera is a planet where the muses work together, join hands and celebrate all the arts." ~ Franco Zeffirelli

Japan has always seemed so mysterious to me and I am sure that to many around the world, the same is true for the United States. I have never been there, but my brother has performed there several times and is currently preparing for an opera in Tokyo. This photo was taken during his last trip to Japan, one in which he finally had a bit of down time to visit the countryside outside the main part of the city. I love the bright red framing the wide walkway.

This time around it is Tristan and Isolde, a tragic love story in the vein of Romeo and Juliet. Tristan, having lost his parents in infancy, has been reared at the court of his uncle, Marke, King of Cornwall. In combat, he kills Morold, an Irish knight, who had come to Cornwall, to collect the tribute that country had been paying to Ireland. Morold was engaged to his cousin Isolde, daughter of the Irish king. Tristan was severely wounded in this battle as well and places himself, without disclosing his identity, under the care of Isolde who comes of a race skilled in magic arts. She discerns who he is and though aware that she is harbouring the slayer of her betrothed, she spares him and carefully tends him. She develops a great passion for Tristan but does not tell him as does Tristan for her, but both deem their love to be unrequited. Soon after Tristan’s return to Cornwall, he is dispatched to Ireland by Marke, that he may win Isolde as Queen for the Cornish king.

The music-drama opens on board the vessel in which Tristan bears Isolde to Cornwall. Deeming her love for Tristan unrequited she determines to end her sorrow by quaffing a death-potion; and Tristan, feeling that the woman he loves is about to be wedded to another, readily consents to share it with her. But Brangäne, Isolde’s companion, substitutes a love-potion for the death-draught. This rouses their love to resistless passion. Not long after they reach Cornwall, they are surprised in the castle garden by the angry King and Tristan is severely wounded by Melot, one of Marke’s knights. Kurwenal, Tristan’s faithful friend, bears him to his native home, Kareol. Desperately, Isolde follows him, arriving just in time to fold him in her arms as he dies. She breathes her last over his dead body.

"And thus they sang their mysterious duo, sang of their nameless hope, their death-in-love, their union unending, lost forever in the embrace of night's magic kingdom. O sweet night, everlasting night of love! Land of blessedness whose frontiers are infinite!" ~ Thomas Mann (1875-1955) - about Tristan and Isolde

This is one of the most difficult roles to sing as Wagner fashioned a musical score with interwoven dissonant chords and uneven meter and the two main characters are essentially on stage through the whole production. Wagner's operas tend to be long... as in 4 to 6 hours long. But, in this one he gets the girl... of course, he dies in the end... but between the fatal blow and his on stage death, he sings a brilliant aria.

So if you happen to be in Tokyo this Christmas.......

(end of post)
Ruby Tuesday

The Talking Heads

"Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts." ~ Author Unknown

Clockwise from top right: Rick, Stephen, Dave.

"What greater thing is there for human souls than to feel that they are joined for life - to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories." ~ George Eliot

I've been a little busy. Stephen has been home for an extended period to rest (right!) and oversee his building project for a while. Our cousins from Illinois, who are masters at woodworking, came to do the inside trim, beams and some skirting on the new deck as well as build a trellis for the wisteria. They also brought gorgeous walnut furniture that they made for the room. So they have been busy with cutting, hammering, climbing, clear coating, painting and various other woodworking things. I took a break from the decision making for the project and plunged into the chopping and cooking for the workers.

My two cousins are thin and tall. How they remain thin I do not know. If I ate a minute fraction of what they eat, I would gain ten pounds in two days. Since Rick is mostly a vegetarian, we did a lot of rice and stir fry and salads. I chopped celery, carrots, bell peppers (green, red, yellow and orange), purple onions, snow peas, mushrooms, broccoli and cucumbers. Tons of salad greens were washed and spun. Boxes and boxes of brown rice cooked. Green peas, corn, fresh thin green beans, slivered almonds, black olives and bean sprouts were added. Our huge wok worked overtime... as did Stephen, for he is the master cook. I made fruit salad with fresh pineapple, bing cherries, cantaloupe, blueberries, mango, apples, and watermelon. We cooked salmon, catfish and chicken. And this was just for one day!

In addition.... a black walnut cake, carrot cake, cheese cake and a chocolate cake with buttercream icing were consumed. The cousins were here for two weeks.

Now, the chopping has taken a break... the meals are back to what seems like a minimalistic production... time for a little rest. And a little blogging.

Oh, this picture? We went to the beach... in the evening and with the flash and a little post production, I ended up with this strange floating heads shot. But that's a family!

(end of post)

Uncommonly Miraculous

Bringing in the sunshine... pictures with my macro.
(Click pictures to enlarge)

"The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common."
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I think I mentioned that my mom had her fourth joint replacement surgery in November. Yes, it finally happened on the 17th. I truly believe this will be the last major surgery she will ever be able to have done. The complicated aspects of her medical state have reached the inevitable stage where everything is a fine balancing act... surgery or any superimposed illness upsets this balance. The surgery itself went well but the post-op period was more difficult than ever. She had to remain in the hospital until the Friday after Thanksgiving and problems with kidney function, gastrointestinal tract function and a more generalized edema came up. I really had faith that these would work themselves out and they did... just more slowly than would have been the case with someone younger.

Pink variegated geranium... after the rain.

She only spent two weeks in the rehab nursing facility and I wasn't ready for her to be home. We had to rent a hospital bed that would adjust lower so she could easily get in. Fortunately, their master suite in the new house is more than ample for this. Slowly the swelling went down and her in home therapy began. I do think Mom enjoyed this stage of therapy the most. She arranged to have the same therapist as she has had previously and really enjoyed her visits... although she is not as enthusiastic about the actual exercises. The in home therapy lasted a full four weeks.

Baby pink chrysanthemums ... soft and simple.

Near the end of January, she began her outpatient therapy... three times a week. She works on a step machine and with other exercises and it is good for her to get out of the house. On January 30th she went to therapy as usual and was using her cane instead of the walker. Instead of waiting for my Dad to come up to the 2nd floor entrance she decided to meet him down in the building lobby. Right outside the door of the therapy room, she lost her balance and fell forward on the carpeted floor. She hit her knees and her head. The therapists wouldn't let her move and called the ambulance to take her to the hospital. The emergency room doctors thoroughly x-rayed her knees and hips and while there is extensive bruising and a hematoma on the right knee... there were no broken bones and all the implants look to be secure. She also had a CT scan of the head and that was fine as well. But now she is still sore and her knees hurt worse than her hips and we are staying with the walker for a bit longer.

When my dad called from the ER I couldn't hear him well and just got little bits.... "ER".... "hospital"... "ambulance"...... Finally he used a hospital phone to give me the whole story. We have been doing the icing treatments on both knees and the bruising is slowly going away. She is continuing with outpatient therapy.

This past week we have had to deal with the viral gastroenteritis... (stomach flu). Dad had it start on Saturday night... no nausea, just the diarrhea... and against my advice he took Imodium ... his symptoms lasted for almost five days. Wednesday evening, Mom suddenly became nauseated and had the vomiting and diarrhea all night. Thursday she couldn't eat much but dry crackers and a bit of broth in the evening.... but she was able to keep her medicine down.

Friday, she had an appointment with her family physician and physical therapy. She took her medicine in the morning as usual but had a lower fasting blood sugar than usual. She ate and went to therapy but there her blood sugar really began to drop so they gave her orange juice, grape juice... things that would normally send it skyrocketing... only managed to get it up to 72. From 3:00 pm until 8:00 pm, I gave her crackers with jelly, cinnamon toast, tea with sugar, regular Jello... anything with sugar in it that would also not upset a stomach with recent viral gastroenteritis.... all to no avail. Her blood sugar dropped into the 30's and wouldn't go above 40... so I called the doctor on call and told him we were bringing her to the ER and please call ahead. On the way, she seemed more oriented and her blood sugar did go up a little but not much. They gave her more crackers and juice and started a glucose drip in the ER but her blood sugar again dropped into the 40's... so she was admitted. She required glucagon injection during the night but by Saturday evening her glucose was getting higher.

Mom was released yesterday. She can eat most of her normal diet now and it seems the excess diabetic medication is out of her system. In fact, today we are having trouble keeping the glucose down... I am waiting to hear that we can restart one of her diabetic medications even as I type this. I am hoping that this bump in the road will make her become more consistent in her blood sugar testing.....

Glowing fall heat... orange flame chrysanthemums.

So, here we are... another day... another drama........
How boring life would be without the drama... right???
The flowers? Here to brighten the day!

(end of post)

What Came Next! or Welcome to the Stephen King Horror House!

This is my cousin David

"Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one." ~ Jane Howard

David lives in Illinois, but he came to Dad's birthday party in February with his parents and our other Illinois aunt and uncle. Dad and David had talked about the work we needed to do on the old house to get it ready for sale and David was going to stay for a week after the party to help. He and his brother are VERY handy; they do renovations, build cabinets and furniture and David designs additions and draws the plans as well as the building. I was so thankful that he agreed to help.... I just don't know how to do carpentry.

Yes, it was that dusty!

We started on Monday, February 11th, after taking everyone to the airport. First we picked out some flooring for the entryway and the two bathrooms and the carpet and pad. The carpet people measured and things were in the works. David started on the garage with some repair of the ceiling and some carpentry framing around the pull down attic steps. Here he was sanding the ceiling before putting on the drywall skimming material. His work is amazing!

I started on the house..... first scraping up all the tile in the two bathrooms and then cutting the old carpet about six inches from the walls and pulling that up to get ready for the painters. I took down drapes and blinds and hardware and started spackling all the small holes in the walls. There was this horrible, tacky, eighties wallpaper on one wall of the entryway and we stripped that off. David put the drywall skimming material on the wall with a scrub brush to match the plaster pattern and it was phenomenal.... it really opened up the space. He patched a few cracks in the plaster that had been there for 23 years.... Dad just never got around to fixing them.

Then we started on the painting! We decided to paint everything in the garage the same color... the ceiling, walls, workbench and shelves. We had some white and antique white of varying kinds and we mixed them together. Of course the ceiling is the hardest thing to paint......ouch! I had almost as much paint on my shirt as I did on the ceiling! We ran out but fortunately we matched the swatch at Home Depot with the paint on my shirt and.... voila.... back in business. We painted and painted and painted and painted... for three days! That room was just drinking the paint up!

In the mean time, Dad had the hot tub repair guy come and he replaced the controls with new digital ones. Then it leaked and he replaced the jets.... now it is almost brand new! SO MUCH ON THIS TO DO LIST!!!! It seemed to start growing and growing and by the end of the week it was clear that we were not going to get done.......

So, David re-arranged his travel plans and decided to stay for another week; ten days actually... to get the work done and to see Stephen who was coming back from Europe again. You see, Stephen and David had started talking about an addition to the NEW house; a winter garden, sunroom of sorts with a deck, fire pit patio and landscaping. David took measurements and started the drawings and wanted to talk to Stephen again. ( I told you he was talented!)

We found a reasonable painter and they got started.... everything an antique white with bright white baseboard, window trim and doors. Semi-gloss in the bathrooms and kitchen and flat elsewhere. They even put a special anti-mold and fungus substance in the paint for the bathrooms to prevent any problems. The painters took three days to do the whole house! It started looking much better. While they were working there, David started trimming back the bushes and digging up and moving some shrubs. He and Dad worked on some flower bed drainage options. I started on the house cleaning... no, not inside.... outside.... in 45 degree weather. Yes, I got on my handy dandy super ladder and started washing the siding of the house with a long handled brush and hospital strength bleach and soap.... then pressure washing it off. I also pressure washed the brick.

Then the things started happening.... it seemed that as we finished two things on our list... four more would pop up! When I pressure washed the front... the shutters started to peel... so I spray painted the shutters black... it made the white pop! When the hot tub leaked, it left water stains in the wood decking that enclosed it... so I decided to stain it a dark mahogany color! The sunroom indoor/outdoor carpet had stains... so I washed it with my carpet cleaner.... but they finally required a spraying with full strength Clorox... that did the trick and didn't mottle up the color.... amazing! Then when the painters were finishing up... the Ponderosa wagon wheel lantern hang down light in the dining room and the upside down tulip stained glass and round ball light in the entryway looked worse and worse. So we took them down and let Stephen put up some inexpensive lights that were flush to the ceiling. MUCH BETTER!

Stephen returned... and David was going to leave but we still had sooooo much to do and Stephen was taking care of the guttering issue on the new house. So... he talked David into staying for still another week! (YEAH!!!) The floor guys came and we had to stop and pull the toilets... my first experience at plumbing... actually, they pulled them and we had to put them back. We started putting the drapes back up... and I cut a cord that shouldn't have been cut and the weather stripping stuck and the door wouldn't close and well.... a lot of little tiny things just kept popping up. We kept going... and going....

Then it was finally time for David to leave... Stephen and he left the same day. I dropped them at the airport and went to the old house to start painting the laundry room... I cried a lot that day. Then my cell phone rang! Stephen saw David get off his plane because of some maintenance technical problem... he had to get on his flight... David was trying to get another flight out... a snow storm was rapidly approaching his destination and...... it seemed that the "Stephen King House" did not want to let him go!!!!! He was supposed to leave at 11AM and finally got a flight out at 5PM. His connection was delayed and his ride from the airport to his house was at the beginning of the ice storm. David was here for three weeks and I, for one, is extremely thankful! I would be completely dead, instead of only half dead!

I painted the laundry room, the pantry and the laundry room cabinets after his departure, as well as the outside of the sunroom doors and a few places on the exterior window casings. I put the curtains and drapes back up and vacuumed the fuzzies off the new carpet.... four times! I started the touch up painting on baseboards and walls and finished up the pressure washing outside. The range in the kitchen was giving us trouble. Dad spent a full day changing out the sensor, but it would still cut itself off and blink and did so while cleaning and while baking. When he turned off the breakers to work on the stove he flipped the breaker to the energy saving electric contraption. You know... the one where certain times of day you can dry clothes and other times you can't. When he flipped it back on... there were blinking lights and error messages.. in other words... it fried itself. It cost $800 to fix and $150 to take out. We took it out. Of course, that left a big gaping hole in the already painted laundry room wall. So, Dad spent two days working on a patch and spackling and then I painted it; after I got some more paint to match what the painters had.

We had to get a new range. They no longer make "almond" color but with just a bit of white showing, the ceramic top looks great and works great. Dad got a good deal, but it had a small chip on the edge. No problem. I put several coats of enamel paint on the spot and you can't see it. Of course we had to take a little shelf down to get the stove in and that left another UNPAINTED area on the wall. And of course, I had no antique white Duron semi-gloss paint and the Duron store said they had two shades of antique white. I took the swatches and decided on the color. Dad went by to get it and I told them over the phone that I wanted the semi-gloss and which color but they tried to be helpful by checking with their other store. They said that our painters only got the "eggshell" finish and so they talked Dad into getting it. Unfortunately it did not work... you could see the difference across the room. I took it back, made them give me the paint I told them I wanted and it was perfect!

I started the final cleaning. Washed the windows, scrubbed the sinks and toilets, cleaned all the cabinets in bathrooms, kitchen and laundry, mopped floors and vacuumed carpets again. I didn't pressure wash the siding or ceiling on the front porch as I knew that it would likely blow the paint off... but I bleached it and rinsed carefully and it did well. I also started taking the non-essential things out to the new house.

Finally, the Monday after Easter, I was ready for my last BIG project.... what? You know my penchant for garages! David had mentioned that one of our other cousins had used this epoxy latex paint on his basement floor with fun speckles in it and it looked like linoleum. Of course, I couldn't resist The walls and benches looked so good and the floor had paint and oil and just gunky looking areas. So, I got a kit. It was a bit complicated... it had to have air temps of at least 65 and floor temps of 55 and you had to prepare the floor by cleaning and etching and then there couldn't be any dust and when you mixed the epoxy in you had to wait certain times for certain temps but you had a two hour time limit to get it all done! Whew! Of course we were in the time of year where it can be 75 degrees one day and 40 the next!

It was cold that Monday and not to hit 65 until Wednesday, so I scrubbed and cleaned it with a special de-greaser and rinsed it three times. After it dried, I etched it with a phosphoric acid concrete etcher and scrubbed and rinsed that out. It left a fine white powdery residue. On Tuesday morning I used the kit etcher which was a concentrated acetic aid (vinegar) form and rinsed again. There was still a white powder so before I left for the evening, I rinsed about three times.... left fans running and a small space heater to help with the temperature. I painted on Wednesday morning.....got everything together, mixed the epoxy and after 30 minutes, edged and started the rolling. That was fun... roll a four foot square area and then take the sprinkles of black, brown, white and tan paint flecks and just .... toss them on the floor. At first I wasn't sure if it would cover the floor with one coat, but it did. Tossing those flakes is a riot... and they stick.... tight! It turned out really well. In fact, it turned out so well that a small place on the wall under the workbench stood out like a sore thumb. I had decided not to paint there as "no one can see it". The paint on the garage floor completely changed the look and it was obvious, so I went back and touched that up. It really is amazing and isn't supposed to bubble up when in contact with the hot car tires!

The house was ready for the second look by the realtor on Friday, March 28th. We had spent 57 days and approximately $10,000 in upgrades to the old house. In the realtor's opinion, the house looked totally different... and great! She recommended an asking price that was $50,000 above the "as is" price she suggested in December! It has been on the market just over two weeks and they have shown it over a dozen times with at least one party showing extreme interest! Three other houses in the same general area have sold in the last three months... all within 45 days of listing. So... we'll see. If you want to see some of the final results you can click on the slide show below... it's my first attempt at one! Just click on the pictures or the arrows. A few will zoom and a few have notes.

This was a long discourse.... this is why my posting has been so rare. I would sit here and try to think of the words and my arms and knees and hands would just say.... "go to bed!" But then... my brain had already "left the building". See.... I haven't been "just lazy"!!!

(end of post)

The Birthday Party: Part 2

"Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." ~ Larry Lorenzoni

Mom had them put these pictures on the cake
and I thought it turned out spectacularly.

The day of the party arrived. We had enough food to feed a small army.... all put into place in the dining room and in the butler's pantry. The wonderful ladies who volunteered to serve were ready, the house was ready, the party sign out front was festive with balloons. The weather was great with sun and moderate temps... not all that uncommon here in February. Then the doorbell rang....

We had guests here... and there....

...and the party began! Friends and family from near and far arrived and I was totally amazed! It was orderly and things flowed well...some wanted to try the food first, while others wanted a tour of the house. Friends from as far as Roanoke and Richmond came and family from Illinois. Nyssa met a great aunt and uncle and a second cousin she had never seen. People renewed friendships from years past and exchanged wonderful memories.

... and everywhere!

Everyone had a great time.. mingled well and best of all... THE PARKING WAS FINE!!!! At least I think it was! I never had a chance to actually look out at the street. Our neighbors didn't complain... but they came to the party too! All in all we counted 75 guests showed up out of the 100 planned for. (We learned later that at least another 15 - 20 people were on their way to the party, but got caught in a bad traffic jam on the interstate.)

And here is the happy birthday boy!!!

About half-way through the afternoon, Stephen led everyone in a very, very energetic rendition of "Happy Birthday"! All in all it really DID turn out to be a good party! Most of all, the "birthday boy" seemed to have a great time... and that was the whole point, wasn't it?

"I am thankful for the mess to clean after a party because it means I have been surrounded by friends." ~ Nancie J. Carmody

By the way, it has been a whirlwind eight or so weeks and I do have many stories to tell... still trying to get back in a grove here... looking ahead to stories of manual labor and surprise packages. Yes... I am cryptic!

(end of post)

The Party (Part 1)

"Giving a party is like having a baby --- its conception is more fun than its completion, and once you've begun it's impossible to stop." ~ Jan Struther

We had a lot of food..... vegetable tray, fruit tray,
olives, pizza, hot cheese dip, hot meatballs...

Mom wanted to have a party for Dad's 80th birthday. Stephen and I thought this would be a great idea and he said he could come home for it, if we moved it up a week before Dad's actual birthday. So it was agreed that the party would be February 9th, and then Stephen left. This was thought up and decided upon back in November of last year.

With Stephen gone and me busy with the garage and furniture and steps, the party conception was left to Mom. She poured over her cookbooks to pick all the things she was going to make and had ideas for the cake and even the tablecloths and punch.

Stephen and I both thought she would want it limited to the people in their Sunday School class and a few of the new neighbors. Nyssa worked with Mom to compose a short poem for the invitation and I made a mock-up on the computer.

Ah, the invitations! This is where it started to go astray and get out of hand.

..pimento cheese and crackers, pinwheels, chicken salad sandwiches,
and bacon wrapped dates.......

I printed up 30 invitations, thinking this would be plenty. Mom started off fine, but then she got into her.... "we must invite this couple, even if I know they can't come" and she completely forgot what happened at their 50th anniversary party. Then she had over three hundred on the guest list because she just KNEW that "no one will be able to come". What happened? We had over 275 RSVP's in the affirmative and ended up with almost 250 people at the dinner!

So, I printed invitations and printed invitations and ran out of ink and after getting more ink.... I printed even MORE invitations! After she was finally finished and secure in the knowledge that no one had been left out... we had 135 invitations! I reminded her that these were mostly addressed to couples, so that meant 270 possible guests. I reminded her that the usual rule of "only 1/2 of invited guests usually show up" did not work in our family. But all to no avail... and 135 invitations were mailed. It was only when I reminded her that the 50th anniversary party was held at a large church with a LARGE PARKING LOT and that this party was being held in a subdivision, with limited parking on the street, that she finally became concerned. But, it was too late... the invitations were in the mail... the die was cast!

...meat and cheese trays and bread for making sandwiches, zesty pastrami
roll-ups, spinach dip and chips, punch and.....

Mom thought that most of those out-of-town invites wouldn't come, but when two of Dad's brothers and their wives decided to fly here from Illinois... well, I knew it was beginning again. The phone started ringing and the guest list started growing and growing and growing... until we had 100 guests expected. Yes, it was a come and go party... but still. One hundred people over three hours is still 33 people an hour and many would see friends they hadn't seen in a long time and would stay and where would we seat them? Finger food recipes that feed 16 just weren't going to do and where would we put the extra food and the ingredients of all that punch? (We broke down and got an additional "refrigerator only" fridge to go in the laundry room for the overflow food.) Who was going to make all this food? Who was going to keep all this food on the table and the punch poured and served? (Thank goodness we have three very sweet and wonderful ladies who were absolutely magnificent with this!!)

But the BIGGEST question..... WHERE ARE WE GOING TO PARK ALL THESE CARS AND HOW FAR ARE SOME OF THESE ELDERLY GUESTS GOING TO HAVE TO WALK??

(To Be Continued)

Sometimes Life Imitates Art.... Or At Least A Cartoon

It has been a while since I updated on Mom's knee. For a while it was very uncertain; she had that additional trip back to the hospital for over a week with cellulitis and a hematoma around the incision site. Then back to the extended nursing facility for only a few days. Since then she has had home therapy with the physical therapist two to three times a week and things have made progress. Her surgeon did a special scan to look for infection inside the bone as she was having a lot of pain just below the knee, but that is clear and so her exercises continue. Soon, she will start the outpatient part of her therapy and those two guys really work her hard.

She has ventured out and now with her cane she has come to the house twice and has even gone to Linens 'n Things to shop for her bedspread and to a blind shop to look for her window treatments. But this picture is from an outing to the Norfolk Botanical Garden. It was cooler and a breeze was blowing so I took them to the rose garden. She was still on her walker then but put on her shades and one of Nyssa's childhood Sunday hats and this is the result........

Pretty spunky, hey!?

(end of post)

Rugs And Carpets: Nature's Mix

"Beware of people who fall at your feet. They may be reaching for the corner of the rug." ~ Bill Cosby (1937 - )

I have promised pictures of the rugs I bought for the house. Stephen will slowly replace these cheap versions with the real thing eventually. Nyssa said she would take them when he did. Smart girl, already planning on her move to Florida or Oklahoma or wherever, after graduation. This is the formal dining room and a 9 x 12 foot rug. It could have handled a 10 x 13 rug but this will do. When my furniture is ransomed next week, the oak dining set will go here along with my hutch that has glassed in shelves. Mom's set is cherry and very nice but has an Early American style and the shelves of the hutch are open and won't keep her glassware as nice.

This is a close view of the dining room rug with its tans, black and ecru patterns. In addition to my furniture, we will put my grandmothers huge mahogany hutch on one wall. It also has glassed in shelves and Mom keeps a lot of her antique glass in it.

This is the formal living room. The rug here is 10 x 13 feet. My den furniture will go here. It has been so long since I've seen it, I forgot if it was a solid color burgundy with a very tiny beige print or large floral pattern. I think it is solid and hopefully it will go with this. The set includes a sleeper sofa, love seat, easy chair with ottoman and two end tables. There is also a large square coffee table/footrest for the middle. I sold my formal living room furniture when I moved from Mississippi and Mom has a small love seat and one chair of my grandmother's that will go in the sitting area of the master bedroom... their room.

This is the formal living area from the opposite direction and the light is absolutely marvelous! The green area outside is the nature preserve land behind the house... hopefully a bluebird nesting box will go on the fence we have planned. (just waiting the home owners association approval)

Speaking of green and grass.....

"To me a lush carpet of pine needles or spongy grass is more welcome than the most luxurious Persian rug." ~ Helen Keller (1880 - 1968)

I might have agreed with Hellen Keller until this afternoon. I decided it was time for the first "mowing of the lawn"... the wild grass mixed among the sod was growing faster than the grass and I had already carted the mower out there. So, I started in.... the lot doesn't look that big actually and I thought... "how hard can it be?" Do you know how long it has been since I mowed grass? Let's just say that I traded my lawn mower for lawn service in Oklahoma, back in 1989 and I didn't buy one when I moved to Mississippi and for 15 years in Mississippi someone else did my lawn. One year I gave my dad a years worth of lawn service for Father's Day and he liked it so much he kept on. So it has been a long, long, long, long time!

"I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn." ~ C.E. Cowman

It isn't so much the walking and the lawn mower has a front drive pulling mechanism so you don't have to push; it's the vibration in your hands as you hold the lever down to keep the mower going. The fingers go numb and then the hands and then the arms.... a bit like the ascending paralysis of Guillain-Barre Syndrome! Then there is the weed-eater. Weed-eaters and I have a long standing feud. They hate me, I despise them. They love to suddenly throw out ten feet of fishing line at once and then break off and retract the line up inside the mechanism. In Oklahoma I spent two hours trying to weed eat down a flower bed that was no longer than twenty feet. I gave the neighbors quite a show, which culminated in me destroying the monster by beating it to death on the ground. That was the last day I mowed my own lawn..... until today!

Stephen! Do you remember when you said one of the first orders of business was to get a small riding lawn mower for Dad and I said that the lot wasn't that big and it would be unnecessary? Well.... It is entirely possible that I was wrong! I'll let you know if my fingers regain feeling by tomorrow and if my legs are still working.

(end of post)

Chesapeake's Newest Home Owner or When I Went To Medical School, I Never Dreamed I Would End Up A Lawyer

"Congratulations....WE DID IT!!!!!" ~ Elle Woods, "Legally Blond"

He looks calm and collected, right! You'd never guess he has just written the largest check of his life or signed his name five hundred times over the course of an hour and a half! He doesn't look as if he has 4600 square feet of hardwood floors to dust and damp mop with hardwood floor cleaner, does he? That is because he didn't! I did! Yes, I did it with his money but I did it!

Bless his heart! He is so excited and anxious and he has called almost every day. Then the communication workers in Germany went on strike so it took almost three weeks to get a phone and he still doesn't have internet so he has to go to the opera house to use the computer and get e-mail. I can't imagine what his handy (cell phone) bill is going to be this month!

He was already amazed that I found 13 houses for him to look at and that they were all very nice and would be great to live in. Then when two of them "spoke" or rather "screamed" at him and a third, "spoke loudly" and he actually had to decide....in three days, I think it threw him into a shock. Of course when the offer was made and accepted and a home inspection made and addendum accepted and the loan application done before he flew off the next day..... he was in complete shock and I was in the Twilight Zone. Closing set for three weeks from the day the contract accepted?

And then it was here... today... Nyssa and I went with identification in hand, a notarized power of attorney and the largest single check I have ever held in my hand. I was nervous, stomach in turmoil and I couldn't figure out why. It wasn't my money or life being signed away... Then a dawn of realization... this felt like going into a legal deposition. Would the seller be across the table? Fortunately, this was a title office and the seller was doing the close in his own attorney's office, so no face to face but much faxing.... after my part was done.

When I bought my former home in Mississippi, the contract was one, maybe two pages. Now there are disclosures and definitions and tons of places to initial and check. At closing it is worse, some pages had five copies to sign! And what do you sign if you are buying a house for someone else and have to act as their attorney? "Stephen(his full name) by Sheila Roxanne __________ (my FULL name which is longer than his and he got away with his middle initial), his Attorney in Fact." Yes, I had to sign all of that for most of the pages. They allowed me to put "his AIF" on a few pages after both of the names, of course, but these were few and far between. Even the pages I initialed were hard... SG by SRP, AIF. I am surprised that I didn't write Sheila instead of Stephen at least once!

But finally, it was done! I was an Attorney for the day, something I would never have thought would happen in my wildest imagination! Only two glitches... I can't "ransom" my furniture until July 11th and..... I should have already arranged to transfer the utilities into his name or actually, my name since most wanted him to call to put it into his name alone. Our agent was negotiating two houses for Stephen and thought she had given me the page of utility phone numbers and she had not. I thought she said she would give it to me at closing. But the seller didn't have any orders in to stop the water or gas or electricity, so it should be fine.

Nyssa, Dad and I started in on the floors and putting down the area room rugs and they look pretty good! While there we experienced our first lightning and thunder show in this new home and it was great.... I should be able to get some awesome lightning pictures from those upstairs windows. More to do tomorrow! Even the delay in furniture is fine... gives more time to go through the stuff in the small storage unit and get that moved in..... so all in all a good day! Right guys!!!????

RIGHT!!!!

Now that is the enthusiasm I expected!

PS: Several have asked about my knee. It is slowly getting better, but I am keeping a knee brace on it during the day.... right now, very tired but it held up. Tomorrow? We shall see.

(end of post)