Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Photo Tuesday: Worst

This was the WORST muck I'd ever seen here.
(Pine pollen, that wonderful annual spring happening)
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There is nothing worse than a brilliant image of a fuzzy concept. -Ansel Adams
This isn't the worst photograph technically. It's not fuzzy. The light is ok. But the "WORST" enters the picture when you consider the subject.

Many neighborhoods in Virginia Beach have large ditches filled with a brackish water used for flood prevention from rapid water runoff after a hard rain. They can also disperse some of the storm surge should a hurricane ever hit in the Chesapeake Bay. Most of the time the water only flows a trickle, the ditches fill with decaying debris and the city has to clean them and backhoe them out on a fairly regular basis.

This ditch and in particular this digital photo of the ditch is at least "one" of my worst pictures for many reasons:
  1. Most of the other really bad photos have already been deleted and I really don't know why this one hasn't been.
  2. The color make me nauseous. The original color ended up a mottled, light tan even though it didn't look tan to the eye. I changed the color spectrum to match what we saw and now it just looks like a yellow-green pea soup, but with brown lumps in it. There is a deep down association of this color with two priests watching Linda Blair's head twirl around, while this stuff shoots from her mouth and Tubular Bells plays in the background. I didn't like the movie, don't care for the color and don't do stomach contents well. You can ask my daughter about that last one.
  3. The actual subject makes me sick and being close enough to take the picture even with zoom will in about two minutes make my sinuses completely close off such that I must breath through my mouth or suffocate. This leads to the inability to eat and talk, two of my favorite things.(not that a day or two without either would hurt) One cannot easily swallow while at the same time try to obtain oxygen through same said mouth. Yes, I know that normally the epiglottis temporarily covers the trachea when we swallow so technically we can't breath and swallow at the same time; but, when your head and nose are completely blocked off, it feels like you're drowning. And just forget about actually speaking to tell someone that you are drowning. Nope, won't happen. You see, the yellow-green and brown scum swirling and always moving on top of the.....uh,oh ..here comes the nausea. (see #2) Anyway, it's pine pollen; that lovely yellow Spring dust that coats the cars, park benches, windows, leaves of other flowering plants and here, the water in the ditch.
  4. The final reason this is the "WORST" picture is because there is nothing you can do to fix it. It's hard to like something you can't fix. I like to fix things: re-write manuals so they make sense and cover all the quality issues of the lab, broken dolls and torn teddy bears, discarded animals with medical problems, African violets, old porch benches left by the side of the road for trash pick-up, a wide variety of things. Some fixin' I'm good at and some I'm not. I can't fix this picture. Nothing I do will make it look any less like puked pea-soup in a swamp or clear my stuffed head. I know there should be a bright side to this since with a stuffed head I couldn't smell the puked pea-soup and therefore not get nauseous, but it is little comfort. After years working around formalin in addition to the pine pollen effect, I don't have much sense of smell left and while this can be a good thing in some situations, this is not one of them. The nausea will come just by looking at the photo.
You know, I think I will delete this picture from my computer, but now that it's part of a post, that may be imprudent. I'll just try not to look at it.

Submission for Photo Tuesday topic "Worst".

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